open your trucking eyes*
if things havent worked out with you and that certian someone or people in the past, what makes you think its going to work out now? this goes for all kinds of relationships. why people stay with people who treat them like shit we will never know. they must learn on their own. i recently once again learned that. why i let people walk all over me i will never know. why i let people treat me like shit i will never know that either. its a constant battle to be someone your not, but if you find the right group of people or the right special someone then you dont even have to worry about that. i struggle with people all the time for the simple fact is they all claim they hate drama and hate when people dont tell the truth but yet they are the worse known culprits. it feels so good to know that i really cant trust anyone around here and the fact that i have maybe 2 friends that actually care about me makes me sick. i do so much for people and get nothing in return. i will be leaving this place, im not running away from problems im starting a new life with new people and new goals. when you can realize that people will do anything to mess with your head and treat you like shit when they are suppose to be the closest thing to you, some find me and tell me because youll be seeing how good ill be doing not stuck in this crazy mess others make for us living in denial.
always wondering
why is it always the guy who acts like he wants you and doesnt care. why do they make u feel so insecure about yourself by checking out other girls in front of you. why do they ppretend to like you to get in your pants. some things we will never know and we will always question them. i always wonder why im not as good looking and skinny as other girls are. but then i realize that most of those girls dont have what i have. they dont have a loving family, a personality that stands out, and they only care about what they are going to wear or who they are going to treat like crap that day. im not like that i know right from wrong. so why do i regret how i feel about myself. why does it always look like im the bad guy when i do nothing but stand up for whats right. those people are so insecure about themselves and i have to say im glad i was raised diffrent. i may not be happy with myself but the more i puch myself the less i wonder.
shameful
but you know how it feels to be unwanted, so why would you treat me the way she treats you? realizing you wake up everyday lonely and you hide behind your computer screen because maybe some girl on there will make her see that shes missing out on someone like you. but looks arent everything and my personality is a plus. next time you want something you can forget i exist. no matter how bad it hurts or even sucks just remember i was there for you no matter what.
LOVE?
i cant figure out the reasoning behind love… if you are supposedly “in Love” then why act like you arent when another girl/guy is around.. it makes me laugh when someone says they dont want to get heartbroken or cheated on, but then they are doing just what they said they didnt want done to them. the funniest thing is the wondering eyes that some of us have, because we simply sit there and look at other guys/girls and check them out while we have our significant other right next to us. it makes us look selfish and ungrateful for the love you share with the other person. love is suppose to be a wonderful thing, but it isnt so wonderful, we make it that way. dont date someone who you know has a tendency to hurt you, wether you fall for them or not. your going to be the one heartbroken and noone is going to be able to help you, until that next thrill comes along.. and when your heart doesnt stop beating, that is when you know you have found the right one. never give up. dont search for it. keep your head held high. most importantly be who you are… one day that four letter miscommonly used word called LOVE will find you.
it is what it is..
what makes me diffrent? the simple fact that im not going to pretend im someone im not.. just because a person tells you something doesnt always mean its the truth. i do act mature, im very respectful, and i do not deal with drama. i dont need friends to make me who i am today because id rather have one real friend or my family then a bunch of fake ones. my family and my job is all that matters to me right now so if you dont like what i do or who i am it realy just doesnt phase me. im not going to pretend to be someone im not for you. im not going to lie to get you to like me, im taking life and everything people say to me with a grain of salt, and letting the good times roll. you only live once so live like youll die tommorow.
we all strive to find love, why we do it i will never know. love is suppose to come naturally not forcefully. lust isnt love, sexual feelings and expierences arent love. we just put these in our heads and fall for people who lie and use us because we are that desperate. we all want what we cant have and i guess its to bad.
young wild and free
Remember when… ollie-ollie-oxen free meant something?… gettin high meant swinging at the playground? …the worst thing you could get from boys were cooties? …dad was our hero and mom was the girl you were going to marry? …your worst enemies were your siblings? race issues were who ran the fastest, and war was a card game? life was simple and care free…but what I remember most was wanting to grow up. Now ollie-ollie-oxen free is just some gibberish… getting high is a major issue… and pot isn’t just a pan in the kitchen… stds and babies are huge compared to cooties…dads an asshole and mom wants to marry you off… your siblings are your best friends… be nice to them… race issues and war are common things these days, and it’s not fun anymore… and sometimes I wish I were 2 again because skinned knees are easier mended than broken hearts…
ughhhhhh…
im just so lost.. i started a new job amd i feel like everyone is pissed tht i started. i dont know how to do half the shit there nd they act like i know how to do it. i legit started 2 days ago but its still ridiculously confusing. my first day peoplw were already fighting. it is riduclous. i really am laying here in bed tryin to figure out if i should quit or not amd im never like that i work my butt off. i dont like the way im treated. when someones new u should teach them stuff and tell them what to do. im really kinda upset and confused. i have no idea what to do anymore. i came home crying on momday because noone taught me anything amd they stick me on a registar where i dnt know what is going on. could people get any ruder. i need a job where im not helping people just because i can snap easily. i have a bad feeling about this job and i dont know what to do.
